


Fly With The Eagles

by FeelTheSteelMillsRust



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29039367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelTheSteelMillsRust/pseuds/FeelTheSteelMillsRust
Summary: Starscream is done with Megatron. Megatron is not done with him.Takes place after Fearless and Coming Undone, but you don't need to read those for anything other than further context.
Relationships: Optimus Prime & Starscream, Starscream (Transformers) & Original Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	1. Falling

The cave in which he was hiding from Megatron was, as most caves are, somewhat _lacking_ when it came to technology. He could only go so long without doing something, _anything_ , productive...risk or no risk, he needed equipment. He was already enough of a burden without relying entirely on his Autobot friend to sneak him Energon...though while she said she was glad he was doing something besides sitting around aimlessly and thinking too much, she always seemed disappointed every time she visited and saw his growing collection of stolen materials.

So it was with a not insignificant amount of shame that he found himself once again in the human city, skulking around warehouses and wishing for the first time that his alternate form was a little more low-profile. He couldn't even take the most "cutting-edge" scientific advancements that the humans had to offer - the last thing he wanted to do was to alert the Autobots to his presence, or go after a Decepticon target. But how was he supposed to create his own Energon source with such low-tech junk?! ...still, he mused, it was better than risking running into -

"Starscream!"

He froze.

The electricity running through his circuits suddenly seemed like ice; a terrible, vertigo-inducing horror rose steadily through him. He couldn't move - couldn't speak - but he somehow managed to turn around. Megatron, flanked by Soundwave and Dirge, sneered, purposefully taking his time in approaching Starscream.

"I would have thought that you'd have fled as far as your wings could take you...to think, that you've been hiding right under my nose this whole time."

Starscream took a step back, eyes wide with terror, unable to look away. His legs felt like solid lead. Absurdly, he thought, _It's a dream! Only a nightmare!_ and then Megatron was looming over him, scowling, and all his thoughts were buried under a fresh wave of fear.

"You dare brandish the Decepticon symbol, you traitorous scrap heap?! You were foolish to reveal yourself... I've spent quite some time deciding exactly what to do to _you!_ "

Starscream was practically hysterical with fear. He fell to his knees, more terrified than he'd ever been before, begging for his life but knowing all the while it was futile. He couldn't think of anything to say, pleading mindlessly in a strangled voice that rose almost to an overwrought yelp. "Megatron! Megatron! Megatron, please, please! I - _please!_ _Megatron_ \- "

The grey Decepticon cut him off, growling, "I've had enough of your babbling!" before grabbing his right wing in both hands and throwing him bodily through the cement wall of the nearest warehouse. He shrieked, feeling his wing nearly severed completely by the force, before falling silent as he crashed through the concrete and the sudden new agony of extensive damage shocked him into momentary paralysis. He was helpless to do anything but watch as Megatron leisurely approached him again, clearly intending on enjoying this as much as possible. He felt faint. Megatron seemed somehow distant, even as he grabbed Starscream's more heavily-damaged arm and pulled him out of the rubble by it, holding him up so that he just barely couldn't touch the ground. Starscream was disoriented; letting himself hang there, he sluggishly realized that rather than the overwhelming pain and terror of just a few moments ago, he felt mostly numb, interspersed by the shooting agony from his wing that was still by itself almost unbearable. Megatron spoke, but it sounded like it was coming from far away. "Giving up already? You always were a coward…"

Something seemed to catch Megatron's attention. Absently, Starscream heard the sound of shooting from the alleyway outside. Megatron dropped him, and he collapsed on the cement floor, almost blacking out as he landed on his now severely injured arm. When he came back to his senses, Megatron was gone - but he realized he could hear his voice outside, talking with someone.

" - between me and my soldier, Prime."

Hmm. So Optimus Prime himself had come to see Starscream finished off. His circuits ached, and though his mind was addled with fright and pain, he was sure that if he tried to stand, he would be unable to. Attempting would likely injure him even further. He tried to shift into a...slightly less torturous position, and almost screamed when he scraped the raw wound of his wing against a twisted steel beam, letting out a strangled whimper instead, his head swimming with agony, darkness seeming to press in on every side.

He heard Megatron call for retreat, and, delirious, had a brief moment of panic that they were leaving him behind again. No sooner had he dispelled this errant thought than Optimus Prime appeared silhouetted against the harsh outside light, ducking to step into the dark warehouse through the hole, which, Starscream registered, he had involuntarily made. It was rather funny, really. He'd laugh if he wasn't in so much pain. He noticed he was shivering, the minute scraping worsening his suffering ever-so-slightly. 

Prime didn't seem to see him at first, but when he did, his eyes widened and he took a step back, as if shocked. Starscream was confused. Had Prime not come here to deal the final blow? He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Gathering the last of his strength, Starscream managed to speak in a shaky whisper. "Please…" He gasped, gritting his teeth at a particularly painful twinge from his arm. "End this."

He wasn't sure at first if Prime had heard - the Autobot stood without moving for a few agonizing seconds, before calling urgently over his shoulder. "Ratchet!" Starscream surrendered to the darkness, the last thing he saw before losing consciousness being the oddly worried Autobot leader.


	2. Soothe The Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironhide: *shaking his head* Not even old Starcreep deserved that…  
> Ratchet: *pause* He's still functioning, but barely. There's not much I can do out here.  
> Prime: Then let's move. Autobots, transform!

His wing hurt. Starscream groaned, opening his eyes, taking in the unfamiliar room with dull confusion. His whole body  _ ached _ , but his wing...it felt like someone had tried to tear it off. He tried to reach up to touch it, to reassure himself it was still there, but immediately regretted the movement when fresh agony lanced through his left arm. He yelped, stiffening, but managed not to black out again. He heard footsteps from the corridor outside, and cursed his low pain tolerance. He wasn't in the mood to hear Megatron gloat about his newest ill-fated scheme quite yet.

It was with muddled surprise that he saw C.D. rush into the room, almost collapsing with relief at the sight of him. "You're awake!" She breathed, happiness filling her eyes and voice before being replaced by concern as he tried to talk. It took a lot more effort to speak than he thought it probably should.

"What…" he croaked out, then paused, remembering. The memory of his most recent terror and suffering crashed over him like a wave, overwhelming him. He slowly raised his right arm so his hand covered his faceplate, mindful of the injured state of the left. He sighed. He'd done it again. His reckless idiocy had almost gotten him killed, but - that would have been better, because now he was an even greater burden, and surely she would soon realize this fact and grow resentful of him. Not only that, but if she was here, then  _ here _ must be -

He realized she was talking, somewhat hesitantly. "Prime found you and had you brought back here...Ratchet wasn't sure if you were gonna make it." Starscream wasn't sure what to make of that. He decided to ignore it for the time being.

"I had thought...this whole thing was over with," he said with difficulty. "Foolishly, of course." When he didn't hear a response, he looked over to her. To his surprise, she looked stricken, lowering her gaze.

"I...I know, I'm sorry. I thought...well, I was stupid to think he'd just leave you alone. I should've…"

Starscream was shocked, quickly speaking to reassure her. "Don't apologise! It was my fault for not being more cautious."

"You shouldn't have to  _ be _ cautious! I was an idiot for thinking you could just ignore him when running into him is still a very real risk!"

"Shut  _ up _ !" Starscream snarled, well aware that he couldn't really argue that point but hating to see his friend in such a state. "It can't  _ possibly  _ be your fault! You've never done anything but your best to try to help me!"

"Then it can't be your fault either!" She retorted. "You've been doing nothing but trying to recover!"

" _ That's - ! _ … a good point." He conceded, a little confused. "Wait…" Realizing she had somehow argued him out of self-loathing, he carefully lay back on the table, bemused and tired, wincing when his heavily-damaged wing protested. She noticed, of course.

"Ratchet didn't want to do too much at once... he'll want you to rest before we do much more, but I'll go tell him you're awake." She made as if to leave, and Starscream felt a twinge of irrational fear, grabbing her arm, heedless of the pain.

"Please...don't leave…" He didn't know why he was frightened, but he really didn't want to be alone. She complied, moving to sit on the ground beside him and interlacing her fingers with his. He was grateful for the comfortable pressure, assuring him that she was there.

***

They stayed like that for a few hours, Starscream managing to relax in spite of his surroundings, but eventually C.D. broke the familiar silence, quietly saying, "Hey, I...I really hate to leave you like this, but I do have to get back to work." Starscream nodded, trying to suppress his rising panic. She didn't seem fooled. "...what if someone else came in and sat with you? Would that be better?" He considered this before slowly nodding again. He didn't feel like talking. She gently untangled her hand from his, smiling, before walking to the entrance of the room and calling out into the corridor. "...'Bee! Hey, Bumblebee! You busy? ...Great! You wanna keep an eye on Starscream for a while?" A rueful smile briefly flickered across the bot's face. The idea that he needed to be watched in this state…He might laugh if it didn't hurt so much.

His friend re-entered the room, along with the small yellow Autobot. "I'll be back in a while…!" She hovered near the doorway a moment longer before vanishing. The yellow Autobot - Bumblebee - reluctantly approached the table Starscream was lying on.

"Uh...hey!" The Autobot seemed nervous but genuinely friendly.

"...Hmmph." Starscream supposed it was alright to let his guard down around this one. He was exhausted, and every gear and wire in his body ached with a dull agony. He tried to relax regardless, focusing on his internal processes and trying not to let himself think too much. Somehow, he succeeded. Annoyingly, it helped that whenever he felt himself growing more anxious, the tiny bot was there in his sight, and the simple fact that he wasn't alone helped him to calm down.


	3. Deliria and Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooogggghhhhhh

Again footsteps sounded in the corridor outside, but Starscream didn't move. He was as comfortable as he was going to get, and besides, who else would it be but his dear friend returning? Belatedly, he realized that whoever it was sounded heavier than C.D. - it must be the Autobot medic, then, Ratchet. He frowned a little, fidgeting, but forced himself to relax again. It's not like it was -

"Prime!" At the sound of the tiny Autobot's - Bumblebee's - worried, relieved yelp, Starscream sat bolt upright - or, rather, he tried to. The second he moved, his wing screamed in agony, and he lay back, gritting his teeth.

"It's alright, Bumblebee. You can leave." Starscream forced himself up on his uninjured arm, holding the other limb close to his chassis, and turned so he could face the taller Transformer, ignoring the pain. Optimus Prime must have seen the unbridled panic rising in his eyes, because the Autobot leader paused before amending with equal amounts confusion and concern, "...Actually, perhaps you had better stay."

Bumblebee seemed equally confused, but stayed where he was as Prime moved further into the room. Starscream felt terror and adrenaline coursing through him, but he was completely paralyzed. What was this? Had Optimus Prime refused him the mercy of death solely to take revenge for the damage Starscream had caused in his own time? Why - but he'd been too caught up in his thoughts, and the Autobot was suddenly looming over him -

Starscream flinched back, eyes wide, but although he was almost delirious with fear - again - he was surprised to see Prime wince as well, seemingly in reaction… he watched, disbelieving, as the Autobot retreated almost to the wall, all the while staying in his sight, before speaking in a low, calm voice. "I apologize. I didn't intend to frighten you. Are you alright?" He stared back, uncomprehending. What exactly were Optimus Prime's reasons for trapping him here? For repairing him? Was he trying to gain his trust? It wouldn't amount to anything. He had no knowledge of - of Megatron's current plans. Prime seemed to grow more concerned. "Starscream? ...Can you hear me?"

With great effort, he broke eye contact, focusing on the metallic floor. He shook his head, narrowing his eyes as he fought to regain some control over his thoughts, before meeting Prime's worried gaze again, nodding. He didn't trust himself to speak right now.

The large Autobot shifted, continuing gently. "No one is going to hurt you while you're here, Starscream."  _ Hah! _ As if he'd believe that. "...You should lay back down. You were...extensively damaged. You need rest." Well, that much was true. He was exhausted again, the adrenaline wearing off, and his good arm (well - less badly injured?) was shaking with the strain. The Jet slowly lowered himself back down, his arm collapsing under him at the last moment. He fell the last few feet onto the table, and - he couldn't help it - he yelped as his wing slammed into the hard surface, sending a fresh bolt of agony lancing through him. He heard Bumblebee gasp, but he was too fatigued to feel humiliated. He quickly turned his head again, not wanting to let Prime out of his sight, and caught him deep in thought with a darkly furious look on his face. He managed to catch a few muttered words "-how his troops haven't deserted him...that's not discipline, it's fear - still, I never thought he'd-" before the Autobot noticed him listening. Optimus Prime seemed a little startled by the intensity with which Starscream watched him, but spoke regardless, in the same annoyingly sincere tone. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you want. Even after you've been repaired." Starscream didn't respond, but after a few minutes had passed, he turned his eyes to the ceiling, resolutely ignoring Prime - he was too tired to care whether or not the Autobot was a threat right now. He heard the other Transformer sigh, but the Prime didn't leave. "Go on, Bumblebee. I'll watch him."

"Well...alright, Prime, if you're sure."

He wondered just how much Prime knew. C.D. had likely told him at least some of it - he couldn't hold that against her, he supposed. And he trusted she wouldn't have revealed anything not explicitly necessary. Still…

He found himself asking before he'd even decided to. The reply came, a little surprised. "Nothing."

He repeated, sure he had misheard. " _ Nothing? _ "

The Autobot affirmed, "Nothing. She was quite steadfast about that."

"...Huh." Starscream wasn't sure what to think about that. He wasn't sure what to think about any of this...the more he considered it, the less he found he definitely understood, and paradoxically he found himself drifting into semiconsciousness in the middle of what had until recently been an enemy base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I think, you know...how many times have the Autobots inadvertently saved Starscream's life by distracting Megatron at just the right moment?


	4. Echoes

Starscream woke with a gasp, frantic and disoriented. He'd been...he had been dreaming, he supposed. It had seemed so real...he'd been having these kinds of vivid, realistic dreams lately, to the point where when he woke from them he found it initially difficult to distinguish what had actually happened and what hadn't. Megatron had found him...this was a common theme. Megatron had come for him, and Prime had let him, saying he was their "joint enemy", and - and his beloved friend had agreed to hide him, but had shot him with a paralyzing blast when his back was turned, and delivered him directly to - Megatron -

He knew it was only a bizarre and disturbing nightmare, but - it had seemed so real.

And yet - he became gradually aware of a slight pressure on his right hand; looking over, he saw that C.D. had returned at some point and had herself fallen asleep still holding his hand. Affection for her pushed most of the lingering dread and anxiety from the dream into the background, and he gently squeezed her hand, smiling softly as she began to stir.

"My, my, sleeping on the job?" He purred, teasing. "What would Optimus Prime say…?"

She laughed, turning to face him. "Don't you dare tell him!" Starscream only grinned back. He did feel slightly better than the previous day, but although his automatic repair system had been able to fix some minor damage, most of his wounds were serious enough to require outside help - and, though he hated to admit it, he couldn't exactly repair himself in this state. He shifted, grimacing as his wing protested stubbornly. C.D. noticed, rising to her feet, and offered to find Ratchet - though she only left after he insisted that he'd be fine on his own for such a small amount of time.

He'd been rather irrational with fear before, and had somehow forgotten that the Autobots were, first and foremost, honorable cowards. He could believe Optimus Prime's word that he would not be harmed - not because he trusted the Autobot, but because he knew him to be a fool who kept his word. So there was absolutely no reason for him to be feeling slow terror gradually building inside of him...he desperately tried to ignore it, determined not to make his friend regret her decision. He quickly unclenched his fist when after a small eternity he heard her returning with the other Autobot, not wanting to make it seem like anything was wrong. They entered already talking casually.

"I hear Grimlock and the Dinobots are on their way back from a successful mission...good luck."

"Oh, geez. Thanks, I'll need it."

The Autobot medic smiled. "Sometimes I wish Wheeljack and I'd made them less restless patients."

C.D. turned to Starscream, saying apologetically, "I can't stay, sorry… you can trust Ratchet, though. See you later?" When he nodded, she vanished, albeit reluctantly.

"Rather high-energy, that one." Starscream turned his attention to the white Autobot in front of him. "Mind you, she's good at what she does…" He didn't respond. The other Transformer fixed him with a firm look. "I'm going to need access to your circuitry." Starscream looked away, frowning slightly, before finally replying.

"I suppose I don't have a choice."

He would never get used to the feeling of someone else repairing his circuits. It felt odd enough when it was his trusted friend, but - Starscream had to force himself to relax, too often overcome by fear of the damage this Autobot could do him should he wish to, but also terrified of the possibility of him, overly anxious, accidentally shifting and causing himself that pain. It was excruciating - he didn't understand how others could so easily entrust the most vulnerable part of themselves to anyone else. Searching for a way to distract himself, he spoke without thinking.

"Why did you bother to save me? Why not just let me die?"

Ratchet didn't answer immediately, and when he did, it was in a careful tone. "What happened to you was... terrible. I couldn't rightly do nothing. ...and I think a lot of us didn't realize what we'd been seeing until just then."

Starscream felt a flash of anger. "And just what exactly  _ had _ you been seeing?"

The Autobot, seeming uncertain, avoided the question. "...and you almost died anyways." He scowled, rising to Starscream's anger. "I believe a "thank-you" is in order for that."

"...hmph."

After another half-hour or so of silence, Ratchet sighed. "Alright, that's enough for now. I'd like to get a better look at your wing, though. Can you stand up?" Starscream did, carefully, though he had to lean heavily on the table with his right arm to support himself. The other bot continued, slowly moving around him to better see the wound. "I was able to reattach it more sturdily initially - for a good while I was worried it would fall off entirely - " Starscream shuddered at the thought. " - but I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with your build, and we'd done about as much as I felt comfortable doing before you'd had a chance to rest, so I elected to leave anything further to a later date."

The Autobot was completely out of his sight now, and though Starscream tried miserably to stay calm, he was tense, almost shivering, with fear. He tried to focus internally, on the comforting flow of electricity through his circuits and wires, steadying his breathing. He felt a touch on his wing -

He whirled around in a panic, forgetting momentarily his weakened state and losing his balance, landing once again on his injured wing with a cry of pain. He lay there in dull agony for a few moments, before forcing himself back up to a sitting position, embarrassed by the delayed realization that the Autobot - who was staring at him with an infuriating mix of pity and understanding - had likely reached out unconsciously to still Starscream's slight trembling.

"How long, Starscream?"

He refused to make eye contact, spitting back, "I don't know what you mean."

Ratchet sighed, but offered him his hand, helping him back onto the table - careful not to touch his wings, as Starscream noted with humiliated annoyance. He began to examine Starscream's left arm, likely making a list of what needed replacing and what could be repaired. The limb had been badly dislocated in several places, and might have even come apart completely if Megatron hadn't dropped him precisely when he did.

Starscream turned his helm away, muttering a barely-audible "...thanks." The Autobot, to his relief, gave no sign that he had heard beyond a surprised hum.

Just as the medic was preparing to leave, something occurred to Starscream. "Skyfire." At the other's puzzled look, he elaborated. "You said you weren't familiar with my build? ...Skyfire is."

**Author's Note:**

> "It's *MY* trauma and *I* get to choose the coping mechanism" - me starting this back in March


End file.
